October 26, 2020:
My cutie + a very cute visitor... puppy snuggles are really good therapy! // It’s been a month since we made the decision to stop Ed’s chemo treatment and enter into hospice. Overall things have remained fairly stable over this past month. There are days that are much more rough than others. Some days we go about our routine with no big hiccups, and some days we want to scream “fuck cancer” from the rooftop. My hubby’s body has been through hell and back. It’s sometimes hard to remember life before all of this. Four years ago Ed ran the NYC marathon and now he can barely walk, it’s heartbreaking. But his amazing spirit and his deep love for me, our two boys, and our friends and family is fully intact and for that I’m extremely grateful. We find joy in the little things each day and appreciate all our time together but still grieve deeply for the past and what’s been taken from Ed and our family. And the anticipatory grief of the future continues to weigh so heavy. It can completely suck the wind out of you and bring you to tears in a moments notice. Our heartfelt thank you to those that continue to pray, message, visit, and support us in countless ways, we love you all.
Hanging With My Boyfriend // October 30, 2020:
The boys are both hanging with their girlfriends so I had a date night with my boyfriend... take-out and an episode of Schitts Creek it is. Do we look freaking exhausted, oy, it’s been a week. Love my guy.