November 15, 2020:
I can’t fix this and as a mom, I just want to fix this and make it all better, make my husband better, and I can’t. It’s heartbreaking to say the least. Our hospice chaplain visited on Friday and she asked Ed “what’s the most important thing to you right now” and he said “that my boys remember me”. She asked me at one point if I was mad at God. I responded that I’m not mad but I just don’t understand. “Why Ed?” Why anyone but why Ed? A unique and amazing guy who has so much life in him, so much love for me, his boys, his friends and family. Someone with so much light and humor and someone as active as he was. Why did he get robbed of those things and why do our boys get robbed of so many special years with their dad. I know Ed has touched many lives throughout this journey and before, but still why does that have to be cut short here on earth. Things have changed since my last “stable” update on Ed and there have been many changes and challenges but his smile and hope and warmth and humor still show up and I’m so grateful for that. He continues to show so much love towards me and my care for him. Our boys are amazing and I’m beyond grateful for their strength and how they continually make me laugh which is so good for the soul in between the tears. Ed and I both agree that we’ve had some pretty amazing chapters in our life together. Lots of cool stories. I hold onto them tight. Thank you to everyone who’s watched Ed’s special video and left heartwarming messages. // I love you honey so much!
Thankful for little snuggles. XOXO
November 25, 2020:
Super duper thankful for all our friends and family, near and far, and the immense amount of love and support shown to my little family. There’s always light in the darkness and joy in the sorrow. Thank you for being the light and joy for us with your kindness, your heartwarming words, your prayers, and your graciousness. - Jenn